Chloe Beale's Secret
by ThePerfectDreamGirl
Summary: I have a secret that I can never tell anybody, not even my girlfriend Beca. Maybe Aubrey would be able to tell me what to do. She knows what happened, her family and her are the only ones. Bechloe thought they were forever but will Chloe's secret ruin their forever? Bechloe fangirling story that happened when I was over thinking stuff
1. Chapter 1 - My love, my life

**I was thinking randomly one day and this story is the result. It will be strange, wild and a little bit crazy (I'll literally be putting my thoughts on a page and hoping). Please enjoy this little brainwave of a story and I will write more chapters soon. I was also thinking that besides Beca, Emily, Flo, Aubrey, Bumper and Jesse we are not told any other characters second names within the movie (comment if you have watched them more recently than me and know of any others). Please fave, follow, review and tell your friends about this if you enjoy it.  
**

 _All my life I have known and all my life I've never been allowed to tell. My father was a secret agent, but nobody else is allowed to know so lets keep this between you and me okay. Not even my girlfriend of two years is allowed to know. Not ever can she know, I couldn't bare to live without her, so lying to her was probably a bad choice but telling the truth will only lead to complications. Chloe Beale isn't my real name, but I'm too scared to write it here for the good of the world as if anybody finds out my name... Lets not think about that. Beca's in class right now so I can safely write about this but as soon as she arrives I will have to stop writing. She can't read this or she'll leave me... Actually I have some class work I should be doing so I'll get on with that. I'm upsetting myself with the thoughts of what could happen all because of the fact that my dad was a secret agent. That's how he died, part of the reason my mom is dead, part of the reason I am who I am. Ever since the last year of middle school I have been Chloe Beale, for now that's how I'm staying. Technically I'm Chloe Posen as Aubrey's parents took me on after my mother died, but my mom chose me the name Chloe Beale and they are determined that's how I shall stay._

I heard Beca slipping the key into the lock on the Bella house at that point and I shut my diary and shoved it inside the pillow case. I ran down the stairs, I could tell it was Beca, the footsteps falling outside the door were of a musical rhythm (She was seen nowhere without her beloved headphones and without realising it she usually ended up walking along to the beat of the music), and threw myself into the waiting arms of the small brunette. 'How was Class?' I asked her.  
'Oh you know the usual but twice as bad, I have Amy in my class and today she wouldn't shut up about her damn hangover, although I do have a slight hangover.' Beca told me.  
'Yeah she was twice as drunk as you, She was almost as drunk as you at your worst.'  
'What nearly at my worst, my worst is completely and utterly drunk off my ass so almost at that point Ginger?'  
'A: yes that sounds like you Beca and B: Yes she was almost drunk off her ass. Apparently Stacie had go and sleep in the main room she was so drunk.'  
'Yeah sounds like me on a bad day.'  
'I was about to go and send Aubrey and e-mail on how I'm doing, anything you want to tell her.'  
'My god you make her sound like she's your mother'  
'She is technically my sister Becs'  
The brunette stopped talking at that point and wondered up to our bedroom. When she was almost at the top she yelled down 'Ay. You coming or what Ginger?'  
I ran up the stairs and when we reached our room she pushed the door closed with the back of her foot, then she grabbed my arms and pulled me in close. The next thing I knew she was kissing me on the lips, I put my arms around her neck. I wasn't really sure how long we were like that, kissing and hugging, but the next thing I know Stacie was at the door. 'Yo, is Chloe in here' she asked knocking on the door. I let go of Beca and pulled open the door, Beca stumbled forwards.  
'Yes I am.' I said  
'You have a parcel' Stacie said.  
'Could you not leave it outside like we agreed? Like outside my room. What time is it. I don't have a working clock in here and my watch is at the office I keep meaning to go get it.'  
'10:25'  
'Oh okay I have half an hour until I need to leave for Russian Lit.'  
'I need to go, got a swimming session, See ya later Chlo.'

I sat down at my laptop and signed in, opened e-mail and began to compose an e-mail for Aubrey. Then I realised I had no clue what Aubrey's e-mail address was, my computer has a habit of deleting stuff, I stood up and grabbed my address book of my book shelf. 'Aubrey Posen, Aubrey, hummm, Oh Posen Aubrey, yeah there it is.' I muttered to myself. I carefully typed in the e-mail address (Aubrey_Rose_Posen ) ensuring I also sent it to my email (Chloe_Anne_Beale )  
'Becs anything you wanna tell Bree while we're at it. All the other Bella's wrote something down you wrote 'I love you Chloe'  
'Oh say 'Hi Beca here enjoying bardon still, the Bellas are doing great, hope you can come see us at some point, we have a house just off campus now! You'd love it.' I carefully avoided swearing there you like it?'  
I added it to the e-mail, that was all the proof that Beca needed.

By the time I finished that it was time to leave for class. I was reluctant and just wanted to spend time with Beca, I was hungover as well. Class would be hell.

 **So What do you think is it good, I'll update this as soon as I can.  
** **Lea.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Over Sleeping

**I'm really enjoying writing this so here is a second chapter. Not really sure myself what's coming so excuse if it gets a little (or a lot) out of the ordinary, I will try my best to proof read first just to make sure it isn't totally inappropriate, (as this is Bechloe I think we all know what I mean). I am going to update this a lot quicker than my other stories as this is a spur of a moment thing so it will be quite long.**

* * *

 _It's 12:43 and I'm awake and Sober, I jus watched a really sweet movie at the cinema with Beca and now she's flat out asleep. How am I going to keep this a secret from her for my whole life, I really think I should tell her but I'm not allowed. Oh how much easier it would be if I was really who I am, (or really Chloe Beale) but life is never easy. If she should find out I'm not really Chloe Beale, she'll leave me thinking I'm a liar, I'm not a liar, I just have a past nobody is allowed to know about. Sometimes I dream about my mother and I usually wake up crying, screaming or something similar, which usually wakes Beca (or I wake Beca as I reached an emotional state that prevents me from doing anything). No matter what Beca's always there for me. She's my Jamie to my inner Cathy, yes theatre analogies are needed, She will always be there for me even when I don't actually need her. Oh what would my life be if I didn't have her, I know one thing I probably wouldn't be sat her stressing about what she would do if she ever found out my secret... Oh Beca Mitchell, You are the one I will bond with for life and never let go._

I woke to Beca shaking my shoulder gently 'Chloe it's 10:30' Beca said, I opened my eyes. It had been a long night, I was awake until 3am watching Pirates of the Caribbean on my laptop, I usually ended up watching movies on my laptop at night when I couldn't sleep.  
'Morning Becs.' I said in a muffled voice I looked at my phone, the alarm had gone off two hours ago and I had slept through them. 'It's Wednesday right Becs?' Beca nodded and continued rushing around our shared room grabbing books. 'Becs whatya doing?' I asked before realising that she had class.  
'I have class that I will need to leave for in...' she glanced at her watch '16 minutes' I had an hour and 26 minutes to get my life sorted as I taking Beca out for lunch, but I haven't told her that yet.  
At that moment I got up. 'Sugar, it's Wednesday I have Russian lit in 23 minutes. I have to get ready for class' so now there was two of us rushing around our room, to ensure we were ready for our classes. 'Beca have you had breakfast?' I asked her.  
'No I was about to get a cereal bar do you want one.'  
I started brushing my hair 'yes please Becs.' Beca wondered down the stairs and I could hear her banging around opening cupboard doors and closing them. I picked up my bag, my hair now brushed, and grabbed Beca's bag too. I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen and provided Beca with her bag. She gave me a cereal bar in return, I smiled softly at her. We were going to both be late to class I could tell that, but I didn't really mind, I was with Beca after all. I ate my cereal bar and me and Beca left the house and walked to our classes.

Russian Lit was usually long and boring, it wasn't exactly like I couldn't do I just didn't try I didn't really enjoy it and I spent most of my time Thinking of Beca, Looking up musicals that I could go see soon, Texting Beca, thinking about the Bellas and Writing the words to songs that I like. I was looking up what musicals I could go watch and during the holidays 'The last five years' was on at the theatre in my town, I let out an excited squeal, and the entire class started looking at me. Oops, I didn't mean for that to happen.  
'Chloe Beale, please can you pay attention, and come see me at the end of class.' Damnit I was in trouble now... I had always wanted to see The Last Five Years and when I saw Beca next (which would end up being while we were out during the afternoon knowing me) I would ask her if she wanted to go, and then drag her to see it anyway. I paid little attention for the rest of class, daydreaming about going to see The Last Five Years, as the bell went I got my stuff together and was about to leave when my teacher called me over. 'Chloe what ever was that little outburst for today?' He asked I thought for a moment,  
'Me and my mate were orginising something before class and she said she would send me a message if she was able to come so I just got a little over excited sir, sorry. It won't happen again.'  
'I hope not Chloe, what goes on outside this classroom, stays outside this classroom. You may leave.' He said

Beca was outside waiting for me. 'Took you long enough' she remarked.  
'Sorry I got a little held up by my teacher, you coming I need to ask you something.' We walked back to the house in silence, only once we reached our room did either of us talk. 'Beca as your free all afternoon, do you want to go out to lunch and have a fun afternoon with me?'  
'Yeah sure, though what would 'fun' entail?' she asked  
'Bowling, Swimming maybe, Ice skating perhaps.' I replied.  
'Sure' she said smiling back at me. When she smiled like that it was clear she really loved me. I put on a slightly nicer skirt than the one I was wearing and a nice top, shoved my swimming stuff into my bag and we left for our afternoon out.

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 **Hey, what do you guys think. I'm currently writing chapter three so keep your eyes open. Please review, follow and fave like normal. Me and my friend are planning to write an Into the wood Pitch perfect crossover. Would anybody read it, comment in the review section if you would.  
Lea**


	3. Chapter 3: Day out

**Hey guys me again, I am having a lot of fun writing this, I hope your having as much fun reading it. During writing this chapter I listened to a lot of weird songs so I have no clue why this went the way it did... Enjoy.**

 _My biggest fear is somebody finding out my secret and spreading it all around bardon, I'd be thought of as a liar, running from past, to afraid to face my real life. I'd hate that, I'd have to leave, to run from what I know once more, I couldn't bare that, not now I know Beca, love Beca. If Beca ever went against me... all I'm gonna say is I'm not going back on anti-depressants, that is I could never bare to loose her. My life is so important to me now, because she is my life, until I found her I was dead inside (on and off anti-depressants) and had been for 13 years, that had been when I realised that nether my mom or my dad were coming back. Now I had her I felt like my spirit had returned to my body, for the very first time since elementary school I was whole. I had a purpose in life, to protect her and for the first time I was able to enjoy living without considering the meaning of my life. How sappy it sounds, but its true. Chloe Marie Beale, that's my 'name'. I just want to be able to tell my secret, without all the fear, doubt, concern, I just want her to be by me forever, but is that really worth all it could, to have no secrets from one and other, well I would have would I not._

While me and Beca were sat at the café I decided to ask her if she wanted to go to the theatre with me in the summer.  
'Cool what we gonna go see?' Beca asked  
'The Last Five Years, I've wanted to see that musical for years.' I replied  
She smiled and nodded approvingly, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I was actually kinda scared that she would say no to me, I was so happy to be going to see Last Five Years with her, otherwise I would have to go with Aubrey, and that would be a great day. I was anxious to change the subject to distract me from my thoughts. 'Want to go to the ice rink now?' I asked Beca.  
'Of course my Ice Princess' Beca said looking at me. As we walked I slipped my hand into hers, she looked down at my hand in hers. 'Oh that reminds me, can I come to your in the Christmas holidays? For a while at least?' Beca asked. Oh god. I knew she'd ask one day. Should I lie or tell her I live with Aubrey's parents?  
'Ehh... Ummm... Yes I'm sure you can, that's when we'll be going to see Last Five Years. I'll check when with my mom when we get back later.' I said. I'd lied again. I don't exactly live with my mom do I, considering she's dead. Should I tell her now that I live with Aubrey? Nah no point, I'll tell her sometime else when it won't matter so much if she wants to leave me.  
'Chloe, Chloe, are you okay your really quiet.' Beca said.  
'Yeah I'm fine, it's just my home and family are a bit of a touchy subject sorry.' I whispered.  
'Oh sorry, I didn't realise Chloe.' Beca replied  
'No it's fine.' I lied.  
'I understand I haven't seen my mum for about 8 years.' She explained. It had been a little more than 8 years since I last saw my mum, and it wasn't like I was going to see her again was it. I felt the tears begin to run down my face, I hoped Beca couldn't see me right now.  
'Chloe what's wrong?' Beca asked.  
Damn it she must have seen. 'Oh, well you see when I said I'd ask my mum, I can't. My mum's dead.' I said the tears coming thick and fast.  
'Oh my gosh, Chloe I'm so sorry, I didn't realise.' She replied.  
'No don't worry, I'm fine I just get a little emotional you see what I mean.' I replied. she nodded. When will I get the courage to come clean to her? When we got married? Earlier? Later? Many questions ran through my head.

After a few hours we went back home, I was quite glad. It gave me time to think. I do a lot of thinking. At some point I'd have to tell Beca about my parents, so she fully understands. But how could I do that without ruining our relationship. It was weird having such a strong relationship with somebody, but not being able to tell them your secrets. It was going to be an uneasy night.

 **Sorry about the delay with updating. I've been meaning to but really not had time, thanks for all the comments, and for just bareing with me. Xx  
Lea**


	4. Chapter 4: Stacie

**Sorry for not updating recently, I didn't have any inspiration for where to take it, but recently a close friend gave me some help. So here it is... At long last. Chapter 4 of Chloe Beale's secret.**

 _Spending time with Beca today was one of the single best experiences of my life. She's a great girl, just the right girl for me I believe. But have I let out too much? I mean I've told her who I live with, but I can't tell if she's curious to find out more. What should I do if she gets inquisitive? Its to late to run away, but yet too soon for her to know. It'll always be to soon for her to know. I honestly wish to be normal, completely honestly its the only thing I want more than Beca._

 _I miss my mum. She's my role model. She gave her life, to ensure I could live mine and, although it hurts, I think about her whenever I'm alone. I have a photo of her inside my phone case, and I look at it a lot. I hate to think about what she could have been. Somehow though, I feel as though she would be proud of me now, because I'm being so strong, Its just I can't let other people see. I can't let down my walls of protection. Beca's the one who always had a protective wall, but yet it's me who has one. I'm the one who's weak, but that's because I bundled up my strength, and use it to hide my past. One last thing I wish for. I wish for normality. I don't feel like I'm normal, I don't feel like I fit in with Aubrey and her family, nobody really understands me there. They try, and I'll give them that, but they just don't understand me like a mother, a father, a brother and a sister should. I feel more like I'm staying with some sort of auntie or something when I'm there. I don't feel like I'm home. Barton University is home, anywhere with Beca is home, but I don't feel like there is my home. The Bella's are my family, Beca, Emily, Stacie, Amy, Flo and all the rest. And then, of course, there are the Trebbles, they are like family to us too. Jesse and Benji and all the other wonderful weirdos there._

'Hello?' The noise of Stacie's voice echoed through the empty house... I slammed my diary closed and stuffed it back inside a jumper in my draws and yelled back.

'Hey Stacie!' I replied. I heard her feet pattering up the stairs. She came into my room without knocking. 'What's up Stac?' I asked

'It's just I've got a date with this hot guy tonight, and I'm not sure that I'll be back in time for the Bella's rehearsal tonight... I was going to tell Beca but she doesn't seem to be here, so you're the next best person.' She explained. Stacie was a tall, with beautiful eyes, a lovely face, and hair to die for. She was lucky, she had a fashion model body, the type of curves every girl wants. None of that meant I found her attractive, nobody could look better than Beca.

'Sure I'll tell Beca, if you can't come to rehearsals, just text me please. Enjoy your date though. You deserve it Stac.' I told her.

'Thanks Chloe, I love you darling.' Stacie said, drawing me into a hug. She then left hurriedly. I sat there for a few minutes thinking. Several points drifted through my mind, like Beca and 'mum'. I was quite looking forwards to Christmas now, I've been wanting to show Mrs Posen my 'best friend' for a while now. She ien't very supportive of gay girls (or gay men mind you), so I was scared to come out and say I have a girlfriend... My phone buzzed, bringing me back to reality, and causing me to jump. I picked it up, and checked the notification, just to see who it was. It was Beca. 'Hope you're not going to forget to meet me at 4 when I finish at the recording studio. Xx'

I'd completely forgotten that she was going to the recording studio for her internship again today... Fortunately, it wasn't a very long walk to the recording studio, and it was now only 3, so I decided to watch some TV, but there wasn't anything much on, so I found myself watching an episode of the Simpsons that I must have watched a hundred times before, not that I objected to that, it was better than some things people have been known to watch.

I forgot to pay attention to the clock, so I was about 5 minutes late leaving the house than I really should have been. It didn't matter, Beca wouldn't mind. I tied up my deep red converses, and I left the house in quite a hurry. I met Amy at the gate.

'Way up Ginger, where you off to at such a pace?' She asked

'I forgot I was meeting Beca, so I'm gonna be lake picking her up from the studio now. I'd love to stay and chat, but I got to go.' I replied rushing down the pathway besides the road.

'Oh later then Ginger!' She yelled. I gigged at her lack of seriousness, I love Amy and her randomness. I put my headphones in, and started playing my favourite music playlist. I was gumming along to the words and minding my own business. I slipped back into my imagination, thinking about my mum and Aubrey and all sorts of other things. How perfect life would be if I could just be in this world all the time, instead of only when I ignore the rest of humanity.

I had just got to the library by the recording studio, when the town clock rung out for 4 o'clock. I looked down the street tiwards the corner with the recoding studio on and smiled. 'Beca.' I whispered to myself. I smiled, pushed the hair out of my face with my hands. I continued to walk. I reached the corner, and got pulled around by a strong pair of hands.

'Hello there beautiful' said a deep masculine voice. Tom. I'd recognise his voice anywhere.

'Get off me!' I yelled trying desperately to hit him. He held my arms by my sides, digging his fingers into my arms.

'Not got the protection of your girlfriends now do ya!' He sneered.

A soft voice came up behind me.

'Chloe. Duck.' Beca said. I did as she said, and she dmashed him in the face, and as she did do, I kneed him in the balls. He waddled away, and I fell to the ground.

'Chloe, are you okay?' Beca asked.

'Yeah yeah fine. He's just an idiot.' I replied hurridly.

'Yeah he lurks around here looking for hot girls.' Beca said.

'He was my first ever boyfriend and, I hasten to add, the reason I'm gay.' I explained

'He's a total loser. I wouldn't worry about him too much.' Beca added. She helped me up and we started to walk home together. I was deeply shaken by my experiance of seeing Tom though. I hated him.

 **Wooohhooo!! Finally done! I'm actually feeling proud of myself now.**

 **Lea**


	5. Chapter 5: Aubrey's Secret

_Chloe Beale... How hollow a lie those two words are. They aren't my name. Even so, the way Tom spoke that name today chilled me. It chilled me until my blood ran cold. I was ashamed of myself all over again. Why couldn't I see through those hollow lies of how he loved me and never wanted to let me go? Why couldn't I understand and see who he really was?_

 _I guess somethings are sent to try us._

 _Maybe that's a part of the reason why I've been through what I have, but I just don't know... I just don't know..._

 _I can't believe how unfortunate I've been as a person. First, I lost my father, then my mother, and then there was depression - both me and my brother (Alex) , and then I had a boyfriend who cheated. Life really hasn't given me a chance to rest yet, and I somewhat doubt that it's going to let me stop for a while yet. Something about this world seems to hate me at the moment, and I somewhat doubt that it's going to let up any time soon. I have a feeling something bad is coming again, a tingling feeling, that's telling me not to get comfortable with my current life... I've had it before, I'm quite used to that feeling._

My phone rang which brought me back to the real world. It was Aubrey's sister. Something was clearly not right back home, otherwise it wouldn't be Jesse contacting me.

'Hey Jesse.' I said into the phone. 'What's wrong?'

'It's about your brother...' She replied.

'Alex' I replied, tears already welling up inside of me. 'Again?' I asked.

The only reaction I revived was a quiet 'yep'

'Ugh... Alex.' I replied crying.

'He's in hospital, and we're going to send him to a mental health group that have recently opened near us.' She explained.

'Okay, I got it. I'm hoping that I'll see you both at Christmas in a few weeks.' I said 'Bye Jesse, love you.' I finished.

I suddenly found that usual girly requirement to go and eat some chocolate to sort out my rather crazy emotions. So I ate an entire box of chocolates to myself. It was great until I realised that they were my relationship anniversary present to Beca, so I had to go out to the shop. I put on the first pair of purple converses I could find, and then realised that they were completely the wrong size and were actually Jessica's, so I had to take them off. I then put on the right pair, and set out to the small local shop.

It wasn't a long walk, but I still felt a little on edge because of my resent encounter with Tom. Fortunately, I reached the shop without any such events, and set off around the shop looking for the aisle with the chocolate down. To my surprise, I found Aubrey stood in the chocolate aisle, hand in hand with Stacie.

'Bree?' I announced before I could stop myself.

She stood there awkwardly looking at me. 'I mean Hi Aubrey...' I corrected myself.

'Yeah alright I'll admit it... When I said earlier I had a date with a hot guy, I meant a hot girl...' Stacie said. 'She didn't want to tell you, she didn't know how...'

'I'm sorry Chloe, I really am. I just didn't know what to say or how to say it. You know what I mean right? Right?' Aubrey said to me.

'I just didn't imagine you as the right sort Bree.' I responded. 'and I've known you for what feels like forever.' I grabbed a box of chocolates, the same type as the box I had earlier consumed. I began to walk away, but I stopped and picked up a bar of cookie and cream chocolate, and hastily turned away from the other two.

'I'm sorry Chloe.' Aubrey added, her tears even audible. I didn't want to hear it. I could cope with that too right at this moment. I walked to the checkout to buy the chocolates, and broke down into tears.

As I left the shop, still in tears, I ran into Beca. 'Chlo?' She asked. I pushed past her. I ran. I couldn't put up with it anymore. I looked back before I went around the corner and saw Beca looking after me, crying slightly. What have I done?

I ran the entire way back. I didn't bother to check who was around. I slammed into the Bella house front door, expecting it to be unlocked. I shoved the key into the lock, and twisted it. I pushed the door, taking my anger out on it. I yanked my key out the lock, and slammed the door. I then locked it from the inside, and ran up the stairs, then along the corridor until I got the room with a pair of signs, saying Beca and Chloe hanging from it's door. I ran into the room, slammed the door, and fell down, my back up against it. I put my head into my hands, and began to cry. Why did my brother have to be the way he was? Why did my mum have to take my place in front of the gun? Why didn't Aubrey tell me herself? Why did I had to find out about her like that? Why did I shove Beca? Why did I push away three people who care about me at once? I just cried.

 **Hey Guys. Did you like this slightly short chapter? It was good fun to write, I'll have up the next chapter by this time next week.**

 **Lea. Xx**


	6. Chapter 6: Notes

_I'm sorry if you're looking down and frowning on me and Alex mum. We're trying our best to be what you'd want us to be. don't worry, I don't think it'll be long until one or other of us join you up there. Like you know, we'll be a family again very soon. Maybe we should have tried harder before you went, maybe we should have been better at caring for each other me and Alex, we were both too wrapped up in our own issues, that really are the same. Depression. each case is different. Different reasons. Different symptoms. Different signs. Different in every way yet somehow, we are all seen by others as the same..._ _I'm still blocking the door, and it's been 30 minutes. Should I let Beca in? I know she's waiting just the other side of this piece of wood. Waiting for me to move and press down that shiny gold coloured handle. What does she want to do? That question is what's bugging me, what's giving me the distinct impression I should stay where I am._

My tears were flowing thickly now, blurring my sight, and smudging the ink as I wrote. 'Oh my dear little life. What have I done?' I thought. Listening out for anybody the other side of the door, I realised Beca had abandoned me, so I walked to my bed. I curled up on my bed, took my phone case off my small phone, and carefully picked up the picture of my mum.

'I miss you mum. I really miss you.' I whispered, crying all over again.

I closed my eyes and thought about my brother and my mum. I scrolled through the photos that I had saved to my phone, and finding them not enough, I went walked to my laptop. I thought twice about turning it on...

I closed my eyes and hit the power button. I waited for it to load up, watching the little circle going round and round. I found a bizarre comfort in that somehow. Eventually the computer loaded up, and I found a familiar photo greeting me. Me, Beca and Aubrey. We were all smiling, it was taken right after we found out that we had one the collegent accapella championship. I hastily signed in, not feeling willing enough to look at that photo right now.

I cried for just over an hour, and my tears eventually slowed.

I picked up a pen. I rumaged around to find a useful piece of paper.

' ** _Dear Bella's,_**

 ** _I'm sorry you have to read this. I've been a waste of space, and I'm sorry you've been the ones who had to put up with me. I'm just a waste of space. There is somebody better who should have my space._** ** _I won't bother you all any more. Not ever again._**

 ** _Chloe Beale. Xx'_**

I scribbled out the kisses, and opened the door. I carefully unrolled the sticky tape, because I could find it, and I stuck it to the door. I then pushed the door to.

I wrote a second note, for Aubrey to give to our family.

' ** _I'm sorry I was a let down. I hate myself. Tell my brother to never give up trying. I'm going to a better place. I want to be with my mum. I guess she might understand what's gone so wrong here. Maybe she can see the nasty mess that is Alex and I's lives. I love you all. But this world is just not my place. I'd be happier elsewhere._**

 ** _Goodbye. It'll be better for you guys._**

 ** _Chloe Beale.'_**

I folded up the sheet, and placed it in an envelope, and wrote 'Aubrey and family' onto the front of the envelope. I smudged ink across the envelope to clean my hand.

I slid the window open, and reached out to grab the nearby tree. I swung myself across and rested my feet on the lower branch. I let go of the higher branch and leant down towards the branch my feet were on. I swung down again, to another branch, and jumped down to grab the next branch, and swung down to the ground. I ran. I sprinted across the the garden and crashed through the gap in the hedge. I ran across the fields. I was heading for the woods. I felt safer there. I didn't stop running until I reached the centre of the forest.

'This is it...' I whispered. 'The start of the end.

 ***Okay this chapter sort of sucked but whatever. Thanks for reading it all you guys. I'll hopefully be able to update before next Sunday.** **Lea***


	7. Chapter 7: One big tree

_This is it mum. I'm going to do it. I'm coming to join you because I can't live like this anymore. I'm sorry but I just can't do it. I hape that you of all people will understand. I have always wished I could see you. Every birthday candle wish, every christmas craker wish, they were all for you. I want to see you, to give me hope. I need you to talk to Alex, before he gets to drastic. I know you thought I could look after him, but I can't even look after myself now._ _I avoid most people, and most conversation topics, but I know I can't avoid thinking about you when I'm meant to be thinking about other things. I can't keep on avoiding talking about you mum, or about dad, or my past. Eventually, something's going to give. I can't stay here waiting until it does, I'm going to have stop the problem before it arises. This is the only solution, and my situation is assisting me it that choice. I can't believe the stuff that I've seen, heard and done today._ _They don't know what I'm going through, so I hope they just let me give up! I hate myself, I shouldn't have done that to Beca. I shouldn't have done that to Aubrey. I'm such a fool..._

I ran out of words to write then. I'd been wondering around in the woodland for about half an hour when I came across a big, old, oak tree. I'd climbed up into it, not elegantly, and just let the words flow.

I flicked through the little notebook. Crying at the happy memories of my friends and other fun things I had done. I wished I could relive them. I found it cute because when I first had it, at the start of high school, I used to believe that whatever I wrote in it would arrive with my mother, as a sort of letter.

A photograph fell out of the notebook. It was of me, Beca and Aubrey.

Very carefully, I tore off the edge of the photo I featured in, they won't remember me in a few years to know what went there anyway. I let go of the photo, and allowed it to gentally flutter down to the bottom of the tree.

'This is it' I thought as I closed up the emerald green notebook. 'The last time. I'll never do this again. Never cry, never read my notebook, never try and find hope in the darkness.'

I stood up on the branch, and edged along towards the edge. Nobody will have to sort me out again. This is it. I'm ready.

I was about to take the step that would bring the darkness when i heard somebody call my name. 'Chloe?' Somebody was down in the woods. I thought nothing more of it, probably a dog walker calling their dog who they named Chole.

'Chloe?' This cry was quieter, and sounded like somebody was crying, I recognised that voice. Jessica. No Ashley. Oh I still can't tell them apart.

'No!' The voices in my head cried. 'Don't go to her.' I shuffled myself back so I could hide behind the leaves of the tree. So that she wouldn't know I was there. So that she shouldn't be able to stop me.

Somebody was walking along under the tree. Who? Jessica, with the company of a small brunette. Beca. Beca ran towards the photo I'd abandoned on the floor by the trunk, and let out a cry. I carefully shuffled round a bit so I could see them.

'Aubrey come here!' Called Beca. I could see Jessica rubbing her ears, she must have said something, but i wasn't really listening properly.

I saw a second blonde, Aubrey, and a tall brunette, Stacie, approaching. I couldn't get myself to feel safe. I was scared that Aubrey, or Stacie, or Beca, or Jessica would look up. I was nearly trembling.

'Do you remember this being taken?' Beca asked Aubrey.

'Yes of course.' Aubrey replied.

'Only me, you, Chloe and the wall of the bella house have one. So she must have been here.' Beca replied.

'But why would she tear herself out of the photo?' Jessica asked.

'I don't know... Well still it could have been a hour ago by now Beca. Maybe we should just give up.' Aubrey said.

'NO!' Beca screamed, I could hear her begin to cry.

'She has a history of depression, she'll turn up eventually if she wants to come back.' Aubrey said.

'Dead in a ditch if she stays out too long.' Amy joked, turning up at just the right time.

'I can't let that happen. Not to Chloe!' I have to find her before someone else who wants to hurt her does.' Beca said. I could actually hear the pain in her voice.

'Please Beca. You've got to come back.' Ashley said.

'I can't. Not yet you guys can go back if you want or need to. I'm going to stay, feel free to join me.' Beca replied. I could hear her tears flowing now. Aubrey put her arm around her, and held Stacie's hand. Ashley, Jessica and Amy left together. They all had good reasons, like needing to go to class soon and things like that.

Aubrey, Beca and Stacie stood by the tree still. They all stood there soundness, motionless but showing their sadness individually. I saw Beca fall to her knees, I heard her desperate crying.

'It's okay Beca!' I muttered quietly, Aubrey looked up, as if she'd heard me. I saw her shrug her shoulders, and go to comfort the crying girl, I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

I decided at that point to abort my mission, realising that Beca and Aubrey wouldn't be able to live without me, and that's when it happened.

I shuffled my way across the branch I was on, in order to allow my feet to reach the branch below. I placed my foot onto the lower branch, but as I shifted myself down onto it, my foot slipped off the branch! I flailed my arms reaching for anything to grab onto, I grabbed a leaf, which meerly pulled off it's branch. I screamed.

My leg hit the ground first, but collapsed at the impact, I put my arm out to break my fall, but it slid out from under me, hitting against a tree root. My face hit the hard ground, and everything went black. I remembered nothing else.

 **I've had this chapter planned for a couple of weeks, so I hope you guys like it. I'll break the suspense of what happens next by Sunday.** **Lea**


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